I'm reading a fantastic book, called The Dumbest Generation. It doesn't completely demonize technology, but it does point out a lot of the adverse effects of it on Generation Y and on the Millennial Generation as well. The author talks about things like shortened attention span, inability to focus on one single task at a time, and the people's complete preoccupation with themselves and their social circle. What's more powerful though, are the effects that are being seen with the lack of reading among these generations. The author points out that it is not simply the use of technology and watching of television that causes all of these problems, but it is more that people and kids are spending less and less time reading and enjoying the arts. He highlights the immense potential the internet holds (Library of Congress, Smithsonian Institute, etc.), but that very few actually take advantage of that accessibility.
There is far too much information in the book for me to summarize in a paragraph, but I know that if it interests you, you'll read the book yourself. What it does, however, is make me want to cancel my cable and banish my children from the internet except for when I show them art, music, or current events. It makes me glad that my children are readers, but feel like I should be doing so much more. That I should be reading more and setting that example, that I should stop turning on the television in the evening, that I should be incorporating SAT vocabulary words into daily conversation. Basically, I found another way to feel like I could be a better mom.
I'm well aware of the two sides of this sword. On the one side, I think it is a good thing to feel challenged, convicted, and see that there could be better ways to live. I constantly strive to be a better person, a better parent, a better wife, a better friend, a better employee, and sometimes I try to be a better housekeeper. That last one doesn't often pan out though. Self improvement is a positive thing, and I think it is also a small sign of maturity. The challenge lies in balancing those feelings with the sharper and pointier side of the sword. Those voices in your head that remind you of everything that you aren't. The thoughts of how you're damaging your children permanently and irreparably. Mine continuously tell me how I should be thinner, fitter, smarter, more cultured, better at managing money, more patient, craftier, and an all around better woman. It doesn't help that in my eyes, my own mother was the epitome of SuperMom. She worked full time, was my Girl Scout Troop Leader, cooked square meals every night, helped her three kids with their school projects and homework, and still found time to read novels every night; on top of grading papers and lesson planning (my mother was also a teacher). When I interact with my kids, I still think "What would my mom have said or done in this situation?" I drive my kids to their activities, I'm often short-tempered with them, I help them with their homework, I cook maybe a few nights a week, I make them make their own lunches, and I have the TV on far too much. I have highs of wanting to be with my family all the time and do things together, and lows of just wanting to be alone. I want to sit at the table every night with my family and eat dinner and have stimulating conversation, but most nights we grab a plate and sit on the couch. In so many ways I feel not like a failure, but like I'm mediocre. I have so many aspirations and desires, and yet I spend time sitting on my couch, and usually on my computer. Ironically, research is showing that spending time on the internet, particularly on sites such as Facebook and Pinterest (where I spend most of my online time), makes people feel depressed and inadequate. This doesn't surprise me, by the way, because seriously, who are these moms on Pinterest decorating their houses with pallets and chalkboard paint?
I don't really have any solution to this, aside from trying to make small changes over time. Change is uncomfortable and difficult, but it can be a positive thing, as long as I don't overwhelm myself. Along the way, I'll definitely be praying for help and my children's grace.
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