On the horizon

One of the ways in which I'm in an unfortunate majority is that I am a divorced mom. I had my three beautiful children with my first husband, and nine years ago, our marriage dissolved and my children and I moved back to California while my ex-husband remained in Colorado. Because of this, my kids go to Colorado for two weeks every summer. Even though this has occurred pretty routinely for the past eight years, I still cry when I walk away from them and their father. It's easier than it used to be, but I think I will always have a few tears in those first few moments.

I have to confess, the first week that they are gone is pretty nice. The house is quiet, things that I clean remain clean, and I get to be selfish and lazy without guilt. By the end of the first week though, I'm ready for them to come home and I miss them something fierce. I get my kids back on Tuesday, a mere two days away. This makes me incredibly happy, but it also reminds me of the amazing pace at which time marches on. The girls' first soccer games are on Saturday. I pick up D's schedule and textbooks on Thursday for his first year of junior high. Tomorrow is my first day of this school year back in the office. I can already feel my blood pressure beginning to rise; I think I need to learn some yoga!

In preparation for my children returning, I decided to finally today begin the project of deep cleaning my girls' bedroom. I have often done this when they're at their father's house, simply because I can get all the deep cleaning done and have it stay that way for a little bit. That was definitely my reasoning for it this year, but it was also fueled by my increasing frustration with their apparent incapability to clean the room on their own and their disregard for their possessions. Over the past few months, I cannot count how many opportunities they've been given (or demanded) to clean and organize their things, and how many times over the past few years I've assisted them with the process. I reached my breaking point. I'm not claiming that my way is necessarily the "correct" way to do it, I just know that I was maxed out on the process and needed to do it myself. While I'm frustrated with the girls for not taking better care of their things, there's also a big part of me that can't blame them for being overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things in their room and lack of true organization. So, I guess this is how I rationalize my sorting of their things without their input. I haven't stripped all input from them, but I figure if things have been in a tub for a year without having seen the light of day, it's safe to get rid of. Hopefully I haven't caused irreparable scars, and that they'll be more excited about the beauty and fun of their room than focused on the items that are missing. I wish that I could say I don't know where my girls get their messy ways from, but, well...I know all too well where they get it from. I'm working on mending my ways and trying to instill better habits in my children. It's a daily struggle, as I think it is for all moms out there. At least, I certainly hope so :)