The outsider

Yesterday was my girls' first soccer games of the season. Unfortunately, they were playing at the same time, so my husband and I had to divide and conquer. He and our son watching Miri play, and I watched Kat play. Both girls lost sadly, but at least it wasn't a shut out. Both teams scored two goals, and neither of my girls ever gave up. I did feel a little bad for Miri, as she has only been able to attend one practice because of being at her dad's house in Denver. This means that she doesn't know how to do much, and doesn't understand all of the rules yet. She gets quickly and easily frustrated as a result, but she hung in there like a trooper and never stopped running after the ball and trying. I reassured her that she will get better as the season goes on, and that she has to cut herself a break. The other unfortunate thing is that her coach leaves a lot to be desired, but I'm hoping that she still has a positive experience this year and learns a lot.

Kat's coach, on the other hand, is very good. There are things that she needs to work on, but she did very well and tried very hard. She has played before, so even though it's been a little while, she at least knows the rules and a lot of the basics. She played for two quarters, which is good since she has only been able to come to three practices because of being at her dad's house. I'm confident that she will improve a lot this year. She's a fast learner, and she's very naturally athletic.

So, it sounds like everything is going swimmingly, right? Well, it is. However, I still couldn't help but feel a bit out of place and uncomfortable yesterday. It didn't help that I was sitting by myself watching the game without anyone else that I know. Two of the other moms on Kat's team are friendly with me and we make idle chit chat from time to time. Their daughters are the two star players on the team from what I've seen so far. Kat is only one of a couple of new girls to this league, all of the other girls have played together for years. I noticed a shift in the other moms' behavior when one of the other "good players" was pulled out of the game so that my daughter could go in. They then grew quieter, and repeatedly complained about that particular girl being rotated out of the game. When my daughter was on the field, I was the only one cheering her on, even though I cheer on other people's kids. It was subtle, but it stung. I know that everyone gets competitive and we all want our team to win, and our child to do well, but there are days that I feel like I'm the only one who remembers that these girls are 11 and 12 years old. It was also another day of being reminded that since we've only lived here for two years, we are still the new kids on the block. I have to admit that this is still an adjustment for me. Because we moved here from my hometown, I was used to knowing at least a couple of people at any of my kids' activities. I always had someone with whom I was at least acquainted, and therefore able to chat or feel more comfortable with. That has been taken away from me. I know that it's a process, and I'm not exactly an unfriendly person, but it is at times a painful process. I sometimes can't help but feel like some weird imposter, like my kids and I don't fit simply because we're new or because we're trying something new. Please, for my sake, if there's someone new or a kid who's not so good, be kind in as many ways as you can. To the parents and the kids.

Tomorrow is the first day of school for the kids, and with that comes my son's first day of junior high. We picked up his schedule and textbooks, and walked around campus to find his classes. He's nowhere near excited, as school is not his thing to begin with, and he has a hard time with change. He is a little nervous, but a little less so since we walked around campus, found his classes, and figured out how long it will take him to ride his bike to school. However nervous he is, I guarantee that I'm even more anxious. More about him riding his bike to school (yes, I know, he's almost 13...sigh), but also that he's going to be picked on as much or more than I was in junior high. 6th-8th grade kids just aren't very nice in general. There are exceptions, but it's just an unpleasant age and one I'd never want to repeat.

One last thought. I really never thought I'd be one of those moms, but, well, here I am. How can you be a soccer coach and give your players Flaming Hot Cheetos, Capri Suns, and Barbecue Potato Chips for mid and post game snacks? What in the world could you be thinking? I understand that not everyone shares my nutritional views, but chips and Cheetos? Yeah, just wait until it's my turn to bring snacks :) I had brought additional snacks for my girls in case the coaches forgot or brought things the girls wouldn't like: Shaklee's Performance drink (healthier alternative to Gatorade), protein bites (peanut butter, honey, Shaklee protein powder, oatmeal, flax seed meal, and wheat germ), and oranges. The girls LOVE the protein bites (so do I), and I'm happy to report that the Flaming Hot Cheetos went uneaten and were thrown away. Well, back to my wonderfully lazy Sunday. Enjoy yours!